Last night I thought to myself as I got out of the shower after eating homemade pizza and drinking some wine, "Ugh, I feel fat." I know I shouldn't utter these words. I hate fat talk. But the truth is, as much as we try to avoid it, we can't always shut off the useless mjnd chatter.
I stood in front of the mirror seeing lumps and bumps on my hips and stomach. I didn't like what I saw. But I tried to remind myself that I'm healthy and strong. And, I got in plenty of exercise yesterday: Fitnessista's shape up workout week 2, biked to and from work, walked/ran 2.18 miles at lunch and went to Lifeforce Fitness for some yoga, iron pumping and cardio.
The reason I list the exercise out is that logically, I know I shouldn't feel or look fat, but some days I can't help it. My torso is short and I have unusually long legs for 5'3", therefore making any extra weight kind of obvious (to me) in my mid region.
Tim's Jalepeno potato chips. You just have to move on. Dwelling on a missed workout or one imperfect, delicious meal isn't worth the energy in life. And beyond that, I want to spend my life having fun and appreciating my body and everything I have to offer this world.
Jumping back to 2005, I ended college weighing more than I would have liked, but still feeling strong. I was one of the faster runners on my lacrosse team and I regularly lifted weights and took fitness classes. I was sure that losing 10 lbs would make me content with my body and confident in who I was.
One year and many miles of running later (I had just started my half and full marathon running obsession), I had lost 15 lbs and still wasn't really content with my body, myself or my life. And now six years (holy cow!) removed from college graduation, I'm 25 lbs lighter than the person who earned the journalism degree and yet I still have fat talk.
My point is, no matter what "ideal weight" you reach, you might always have that feeling of "I could do better." But be honest with yourself. Give credit where credit is due.
Those hundreds of hours I spend each year running and sweating my butt off aren't for nothing. And those healthy homemade meals are important too. And the 7-8 hrs of sleep I aim to get most nights, also the right choice.
Fact: chips and ice cream taste good sometimes. Perfection isn't the goal. Living a happy, healthy, balanced life is what I'm striving for. A little pizza doesn't take away all that hard work.
Where are you with your body and self appreciation? What helps you when you experience negative self talk?
The 2011 Dirty Dozen list is out. Pretty much everything I love needs to be purchased organically for my own safety. It's a choice I make. We don't know the effects of all these pesticides and chemicals and I'd rather error on the safe (albeit spendy) side.
How does zucchini oatmeal for breakfast sound? I think I might just have to try it! You know how I love sneaking veggies in wherever I can!