Don't make me get personal...or you'll be bored.
Ok, so I have to admit this is a bit corny, but I had an "epiphanal moment" this evening while watching The Nanny Diaries.
This guy playing Scarlett Johansson's love interest was just my type and so stinkin' cute I could hardly stand not smiling at him. Anyway, it occurred to me that while he is the kind of guy I normally go for, or would like to go for, I'm afraid I'll never succeed at getting a guy like him. And it's not because he wouldn't be interested (although he might not be). But I think it may never happen because I don't believe enough in who I am to be confident toward the guys I like and want.
It makes me wonder if this is just typical for my age or if I really am too critical and lack the confidence in myself that other strong women my age have.
And because I don't fully love myself, I'm unable to truly express who I am to those I don't know really well (everyone other than my family and high school friends basically). Why the hell is that?!
The other night @ Villard after run club, one of the guys was like "Lauren, we realized we don't know anything about you. Tell us something." All of a sudden, everyone at the table was all ears.
For almost four straight months now I have hung out (but mostly ran) with this group 2-3 nights per week and they don't know anything about me. The sad thing is I had nothing of substance to tell them. So, I gave my stats: age, hometown and occupation. Boring. That's the best fucking thing I could come up with.
So, after thinking about it I came up with a few answers that would have been more interesting and real than what I provided.
1. I love (ok, I'm obsessed) within running or any form of working out. This, I realize, would probably be uninteresting to a group of runners.
2. I love food, preferably organic (thank god I love to work out).
3. I don't know what the hell I'm doing in life career-wise, but I know I love to run.
4. I'm a perfectionist, but have always had a messy or rather disastrous room.
5. I love a good chic flick or fiction about the glamorous life of some city girl.
6. I don't trust men and am not sure I ever will.
7. I'm hypersensitive and analyze everything so much so that sometimes I wish I were a guy.
8. I'm concerned about everyone else before myself.
9. I love Duck Athletics.
10. I love country music and occasionally tip back Coors Light while camping and wearing my cowboy hat.
11. I love to travel, but am pretty sure I haven't left the country yet (besides Canada and Mexico) because I'm terrified of not knowing what to expect and being unable to control my environment.
12. I am inspired by Oprah and hope to someday make a difference in the world the way she has affected change.
Ultimately, I realize I didn't give any of these answers because frankly they're just too fucking personal to say out loud.
This guy playing Scarlett Johansson's love interest was just my type and so stinkin' cute I could hardly stand not smiling at him. Anyway, it occurred to me that while he is the kind of guy I normally go for, or would like to go for, I'm afraid I'll never succeed at getting a guy like him. And it's not because he wouldn't be interested (although he might not be). But I think it may never happen because I don't believe enough in who I am to be confident toward the guys I like and want.
It makes me wonder if this is just typical for my age or if I really am too critical and lack the confidence in myself that other strong women my age have.
And because I don't fully love myself, I'm unable to truly express who I am to those I don't know really well (everyone other than my family and high school friends basically). Why the hell is that?!
The other night @ Villard after run club, one of the guys was like "Lauren, we realized we don't know anything about you. Tell us something." All of a sudden, everyone at the table was all ears.
For almost four straight months now I have hung out (but mostly ran) with this group 2-3 nights per week and they don't know anything about me. The sad thing is I had nothing of substance to tell them. So, I gave my stats: age, hometown and occupation. Boring. That's the best fucking thing I could come up with.
So, after thinking about it I came up with a few answers that would have been more interesting and real than what I provided.
1. I love (ok, I'm obsessed) within running or any form of working out. This, I realize, would probably be uninteresting to a group of runners.
2. I love food, preferably organic (thank god I love to work out).
3. I don't know what the hell I'm doing in life career-wise, but I know I love to run.
4. I'm a perfectionist, but have always had a messy or rather disastrous room.
5. I love a good chic flick or fiction about the glamorous life of some city girl.
6. I don't trust men and am not sure I ever will.
7. I'm hypersensitive and analyze everything so much so that sometimes I wish I were a guy.
8. I'm concerned about everyone else before myself.
9. I love Duck Athletics.
10. I love country music and occasionally tip back Coors Light while camping and wearing my cowboy hat.
11. I love to travel, but am pretty sure I haven't left the country yet (besides Canada and Mexico) because I'm terrified of not knowing what to expect and being unable to control my environment.
12. I am inspired by Oprah and hope to someday make a difference in the world the way she has affected change.
Ultimately, I realize I didn't give any of these answers because frankly they're just too fucking personal to say out loud.
Comments
1. I am the best friend you'll ever have, because I never give up on anyone, am fiercely loyal, and can have fun doing anything and everything.
2. I am a very intelligent girl, and though I'm not quite sure what direction my life is going, I know I'll be great at whatever I put my mind to, because that's just who I am.
3. I love to hang out with my crazy friends (and by crazy I mean Wulff, not me, I'm one of your more boring friends), stay up until 4 in the morning in Vegas, and generally just experience what life has to offer.
4. I'm a private person, but if you stick with me, you'll learn I'm pretty much the coolest person ever.
5. I like to read - here are the books I've read recently and what I think about them ...
At least, if I'd have been there, those are the things I would've offered up about you. Love ya Peters.