Do you ever feel like a friendship is the best thing you'll ever find?

And I don't mean that it replaces a relationship (because lord knows I'm still crossing my fingers that relationships are in my future), but rather it's like you've found someone whose soul you were meant to know? I have. A few in high school, college and now life after college. And it's absolutely fabulous.

I still remember sobbing for an hour straight at an end of summer goodbye party after senior yr of high school because I thought no one could live up to these amazing people I called my friends. None of us could I couldn't bare to leave because it was just so fucking heart breaking. And in college, my world turned upside down when one of my best friends and I parted ways. It was like I didn't know her soul anymore; I wasn't allowed to.

As friendships ebb and flow, some have moved on and some have remained an integral fabric of my life. But today, at the marathon, during the pouring rain, somehow it all came rushing back. These people. These fabulous fucking people are hard for me to leave. As much as I'm ready to move on, change my life and challenge everything I'm comfortable with, I'm not sure how I'll leave these people.

One constant I know is that while the friendships are vital to my happiness, they don't always stick around. As important as they may be to me, I am not to them what they are to me. And that's ok. It's just hard to accept. When you're permanently single, friendships and family are your everything. They're what make me feel like everything in the world is good and right and whole. I guess I have to trust that moving on will bring me new souls I was meant to know, but sometimes that just doesn't seem good enough. I guess that's what this whole growing up and figuring yourself out thing is about.

And to lighten the mood...Sarah Palin, please just stop while you're ahead. Oh wait, too late.