Exactly Where You're Meant to Be

Growing up, there was this fantasy that lies within most girls I'm sure, that finding someone to live happily ever after with is perfect.

Life doesn't really start until you've found perfect. For a long time, I was living my life happily as an independent single woman, but felt very alone without someone to share those moments with. Every trip, tough run, funny thing that happened to me while running errands felt lonely.

I did not feel perfect (or complete). Sometimes, I felt empty no matter how full I filled my days. I was sure that if I never found love, I would a be miserable old maid.

Just as I had began thinking I needed to REALLY push myself outside my comfort zone - going to restaurants/bars alone, trying new activities, volunteering or even leave Eugene - I met Pete.

Over the three and a half years we've been together, I looked forward to the day he would get down on one knee, waiting for things to get really good.

But you know what, it's been great all along. Instead of waiting for perfect to come around, maybe we should start believing that where we are right now is exactly where we're supposed to be. I know many yogis would agree with this philosophy, so it must be right. Right?!

Waiting for the day we'd get engaged was agonizing at times. Honestly, I didn't know what I was expecting, but I knew I was ready for that lifelong commitment.

The interesting thing is, things DO feel somewhat different as an engaged couple. I don't really know why. Things were great before, but now it's as though making a public statement to the world makes it MORE awesome and MORE real. Plus, you get to say fiance and be ridiculous about it. 

I guess my whole point is that in any aspect of life, when I've waited for things to *poof* be perfect, they miraculously never were. Having a ring on my finger didn't erase our quirks, but it did make me more ready than ever to achieve things together as a couple. Jump over hurdles as they come.

In this area of my life, I'm really trying to embrace the moment. Other parts of my life...well, I have some work to do.

Do you guys have any tips for staying in the moment and appreciating where you are in life? For me, the keys to this are 1) telling my friends and family how special they are and 2) doing yoga. For some reason, taking deep breaths and focusing only on my body in a specific pose really allows me to come to a place of reflection and appreciation.

I love what our Lifeforce Fitness teacher Jay says..."Warrior II is the perfect pose because your front arm tells you where you're going, your back arm reminds you of the past and your center is the present and exactly where you're supposed to be." Or something to that effect. ;)

P.S. Yesterday was my 5 YEAR anniversary of this blog. Feels like just yesterday... ha!


Leigh said…
Great post Lauren! I remember how much I used to bug Brian about when he was going to propose and couldn't wait for that moment to come. Now that we are happily married, people keep asking when we are having kids. And do you know what? I am okay to wait for that time to come because right now we are living our lives, enjoying our time together and doing things we love.
Such a great post. I definitely know what you mean about being engaged feeling different. You just feel... different as a couple. It's hard to explain but it's more something you feel. For the longest time I was also just ready to be ENGAGED to Eric and now after 15 months of being engaged and planning I'm SO ready to be married to him and be his partner in life.

BUT, on the other side of your post, I think your so right that another person cannot be relied on to make our lives "perfect" or "happy". We have to make ourselves happy and I really believe that unless we're happy with ourselves that another person will never make us completely, 100% happy!

I don't want to bug you because I know how annoying it can be but I'm anxious to hear more about your wedding plans :) :)
Anonymous said…
Love this! Embracing the moment, so important.
Anonymous said…
Love this! Embracing the moment, so important.
I think you are right about right now being where you are supposed to be. I mean, if you are happy in the moment, why strive for the next best thing!? However, now that you are engaged, you can enjoy being engaged for a little while instead of only focusing on being married. Or not. I am not exactly sure how it works, but I know as a runner, and that's just like love right ;), sometimes we tend to keep trying to DO MORE, instead of enjoying the success we are experiencing right now!
Anonymous said…
I love this post. I typically have the "oh woe is my I am single and alone and looks like I always will be, " but then I remind myself of how great I have it. I've achieved many of the things I've set out to do thus far. Like that Dr Seuss book says, I have a brain in my head and feet and my shoes and can go in whatever direction I choose (or however that part goes). I often think the same thing like "oh, if I were married" or "if I were a bit skinnier" or "if I ran faster" and so on and so forth, things would be "perfect." But, I've got a pretty great life, good family, in medical school, a hobby I love, good friends, my health - just because I don't have one thing (husband) doesn't mean my life isn't great, or so I hope!
This echoes a lot of the thoughts I had while writing the "Grass is always greener" (except that usually, it's not ;) ) post last week. While waiting for that "perfect" something - adventure, open door, job, life, apartment, etc - we find ourselves totally ignoring what great things are right in front of us, part of every day life.

I think in most cases, when your personality has that drive to explore but the tendency to stay in a comfort zone, you have to find what joys there are in what you DO have (usually/hopefully that list is long), and embracing it.

Yoga helps me do this, too, and its amazing to look back and see the shift in my mindset since I really started taking that practice "seriously". I also think writing things down regularly, reading & doing things that make you happy and invoke thought, and being around people who bring out the best in you, are all essential, too.

Love this post.
Awesome post, Sass! It totally resonates with me. I have definitely had times in my life where I thought, I will be happy when 'x' happens. But then you get x, and you want the next thing. I figured out a couple of years ago that I am responsible for my happiness. I can still pine for things (like a great boyfriend), but I should be mostly happy with the life i am leading, otherwise I need to make some changes.

It has always been apparent to me how happy you & the man friend make each other. Which is why I was so excited when you got engaged because it's nice to see 2 awesome people end up together and solidify that commitment with the vows of marriage. I can see how being engaged does change things (for the better). There is just something thrilling about an engagement (well, at least in my mind, I wouldn't know obviously!).
J said…
I agree - and I think since I got engaged almost two years ago I can finally say that I am enjoying right now! Seems like I was waiting and waiting and waiting to get engaged, but really what is the rush! I should have been enjoying the time with Brian. So I am trying to do that now!

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