Dear Self

I'm sure you've seen this kind of post before or perhaps written one of these letters to yourself in the past. Back in March, I read Katie Hart Morse's post that inspired me to want to write a letter like this to myself.

I do journal about once or twice a week usually before bed, but the last nine months have really been for the purpose of documenting my personal pregnancy journey on paper. I thought this would be a fun way to round up my life as it is in the moment from several aspects.

Dear Self,

You are currently 32 years and four months old. You are also 36 weeks pregnant and things are bumpin' (literally). The baby is growing and moving around a ton inside of you. Pregnancy and growing a human is quite the miracle that everyone says it is and you and the manfriend are in awe of the whole thing on a daily basis. 

30 weeks

At 32, you hare learning more and more about how you want to spend your time (hint: on things that truly fill your soul) and debating how your career will evolve.

You have been taking classes full time the past two terms for nutrition and before that, part time for 2+ years. But you got this opportunity to move in a new direction and it just might be perfect for you. (Hint: working at a brand new running store in town and helping with the launch and strategic marketing for the store)

The last six months have been full of more change than you've encountered in oh, 9 years. But you're taking it in stride and figuring out day by day what it is you might want to do. A little bit of nutrition, a lot of helping people, running, writing, getting outdoors, strategic marketing, and personal training. 

 Me. Running on a trail. Can't wait to be back. 

You're not sure if you'll finish the nutrition program at Oregon State University, which sometimes makes you feel ashamed and like a quitter or failure, but also reminds you that it's okay for life to have twists and turns. But deep in your heart, you know that there's more education in your future no matter what. 

While you aren't working full time, you have been able to truly nest and prepare mentally and physically for this little one to come into the world. Your house is cleaner than ever and you've had more time to stay connected to loved ones. 

And finally, you are more grateful than you can express to the manfriend for his support as a husband, a friend, and the excited father of Baby Moe. 

While your life is just about to be turned upside down with the arrival of this little one, you're reminding yourself that when things get tough, this year's mantra of "You are enough." will be more true than ever. Motherhood is going to be challenging and amazing in so many ways. 

Lots of love,

Have you written a Dear Self letter to yourself recently? If so, link it in the comments or leave me a line or two on who you are right now.


Taylor said…
I used to write a letter to myself at the beginning of each year as if it was already the end of the year. It was a way to set goals and envision them achieved. Sounds weird but I loved it. It made me commit to things (example: read more... I'd mention in the letter that this year I read a book a month and even fit a couple non fiction in.) So I'd pretty much have to read 12 books because I said I did! That was one of the more simple goals but you get the idea. I love this idea of writing a current letter! Good way to document thoughts on life at the moment, in the moment.
Great post, Lauren! This is such an exciting time of your life so it was a good idea to write this letter to capture some of your thoughts as you prepare to meet baby Moe!

I know it's natural to think of ourselves as failures to when we walk away from things we thought we were committed to but I hope you don't attach that word to yourself if you choose to not pursue that degree. I don't know if you know this but I left a grad school program after a semester back before I started my MBA as I quickly figured out that it wasn't the right fit for me. This was SO long ago (pre-blogging) but I remember feeling guilty and disappointment for not going for that degree after telling SO many people that it was my dream... I think it's hard to walk away from something once you've publicly committed to it but it's worth that discomfort to stay true to yourself and what you want out of your life and career!

This is becoming the LONGEST comment but I just wanted to say that I am so glad that you've found this opportunity with the running store as it sounds like the perfect mix of your talents and passions!!
This is a great way to self reflect and to realize all the good and exciting things happening in your life.

After two years of college, I went to work abroad and loved it so much I decided to stay. However, the Visa did not pan out and I came back home with no goals in life. For two years after that, I worked, but did not return to school. It ended up just not being the right time. It facilitated my move to San Francisco, which I am so glad I did, and I would not have done had I still been in school. I finally went back and finished while working and it was not easy. You will figure out what you need and want to do, don't worry. I think this running store thing may be the best thing that has happened to you, as it will allow you to be a Mom and to work in a field that you love. But you may not have found it had you not been pregnant and/or off of school. Everything happens for a reason! Enjoy the moment.
Amber said…
What a wonderful letter. You have so much to look forward to and your life has changed so much recently but I can tell just by the tone of your posts how happy you are with those changes. I've been reading your blog since early on - before you even met the manfriend - so it's been amazing to follow your journey the last several years :)

Also don't feel guilty for giving up on the nutrition program you were doing. Life is too short to push ourselves to do things that don't make us feel happy or fulfilled. It can be SOOOO hard to listen to our inner voice with all the external pressures though. I was so excited to hear about your new gig at the running store, it seriously sounds PERFECT for you!

So excited to "meet" Baby Moe through the blog and also hopefully meet him or her in person in the future!
I've never done this but was I just got chills reading yours, which must mean it's a good thing to do. And also that you're in a great place emotionally and there's a LOT of love & soul-filling things going on in the Moe world. Loved this so much. Can't wait to see you soon!
Elizabeth said…
So beautiful, lady. Both you and the letter :) I've been thinking of writing a Dear Self to my 16 yo self reflecting on how life has turned out and that I shouldn't have worried/cared so much back then :) Ha. And that although almost everything big I was scared of happening, did indeed happen, just as I feared...that I still made it through.

I have a feeling that you are exactly where you are supposed to be, just as you seem to be stating here. Sometimes we head in directions and they fizzle, but I've found that somehow that knowledge and that experience serves us in some fashion regardless...even if sometimes it takes years to surface. And as we talked can happen anytime :) Can't wait to keep seeing where life evolves you too....and for that lil Baby Moe :)

Hope you have a great weekend ahead!
luna said…
I reeeeally love this "dear me" post/letter. So inspiring.

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