Thursday, March 27, 2008

Seriously??

The working world is filled with all kinds of people, but it never ceases to amaze me what things coworkers will do at work.

I mean, once you're settled in at a place, work hard and finish your tasks in a somewhat timely fashion, there is some room for leeway in your actions around the office. But I have a hard time with newbies acting as though they've been around forever, doing as they please.

I'm a go getter and I see the value in putting in your time and showing your coworkers and boss how hard you're willing to work to meet the organization's goals (and frankly to advance your career). But sometimes, being ambitious and driven is a curse because not only are you critical of your own work, but everyone else's as well. This is currently the source of some unnecessary stress. I think I can feel my blood pressure rising.

Maybe I just need to cut the guy some slack. But seriously, in your first week of work you leave at 4:30 P.M. without any kind of explanation and you're paid hourly, NOT salary! This is simply redonkulous to me. That's right you heard correctly. Redonkulous, my new favorite word meaning of course, ridiculous but sounding so much better. Today, he strolled in after 9:30 A.M. and left promptly at 4. Stab me in the eye. It doesn't help that the person managing him isn't really doing that so I end up filling in some of the gaps. Even if you don't have something pressing to do, at least pretend to be busy. Welcome to the working world.

Oh, and did I mention that he has arguments over the phone with his ex-wife over child support? Not kidding. Take the personal phone calls outside people-on your cell phone, NOT in the office on your work phone where everyone can get all up in your business.

And that my friends, is today's rant. Clearly, it's time to go running.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

I'm a product junkie

I'll admit it. At any one time I have multiple shampoos, face washes, lotions, perfumes, etc in my possession. Some are in use and others are just sitting in my product overflow box waiting to be opened.

For those of you ladies who love makeup as much as the next girl (boys, you can now surf YouTube or read Maxim or whatever it is you do when bored beyond belief), here are my latest finds. I'm in heaven.

Origins "Soft Touch" eyeshadow
Origins "Celestial Shimmer" eyeshadow
Burt's Bees Replenishing Lip Balm w/ pomegranate oil (yum!)
Physicians Formula "Classic Eyelight" Eyebrightener
Cargo "Miami Beach" bronzer/blush (sigh, I'm in love)

Makeup is one of my creative outlets. Even when I don't need something, I'm drawn to the colors and sparkles and just can't step away from the makeup counter.

Monday, March 24, 2008

A day at the beach

It couldn't get any better than this. The weather was gorgeous, the wind barely blowing my hair across my face and the squish squash of my toes in the wet sand was enough to make this girl say "Halleluiah."

I walked on the beach and took photos for an hour all the while trying not to get the jeans wet (which they did btw). Luckily, I'm always so over prepared for any event that I had thrown in an extra pair of pants and a few jackets and sweatshirts for good measure. I drove further up the coast to hike up to the lighthouse and finally back into town for lunch, a beer and to watch the end of that crazy UConn v. San Diego game. Then back in my car for the 60 minute drive home. I can't think of a more relaxing way to spend the day.

As for Easter, I guess when you're 25 (and your little bro is out of town) an Easter basket is no longer deemed necessary. My basket consisted of a large bag of peanut butter m&m's that I managed to put a good dent in within a few short hours. As much as my mom insisted that we go out and get a basket and fill it as I wished, all I really wanted was the chocolate. So thanks for thinkin' of the important stuff ma!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Let the madness begin...

I don't really follow basketball. That is, until tournament time. Don't get me wrong, I love college sports, but I don't have cable (because my roomies don't watch tv) and I don't have the time or energy to keep up with the games. I keep up with the Pac-10 if the Ducks are doing well, but other than that I'm pretty clueless.

But oh, March Madness how I love thee. My brackets are filled and I'm circling my wins and crossing out my losses as they come. And someday, I plan to go to the final four just to experience the craziness in person. I have UCLA winning it all because you gotta show love for your conference. Who's your 2008 NCAA Men's Basketball Champion?

And as soon as the Ducks are hopefully celebrating victory in the first round of the tourney, Obama is stopping by the Eug for a little visit. I'm thinking about checking it out, but I'm pretty sure it's going to be a mad house.

Decisions, decisions

Do you ever feel plagued with decisions you don't know how to answer? I do. Always.

It tends to be a pretty big factor in one's life when you're indecisive. I am, and I always have been. Inside my head it's a constant wager between what I really want to do and what I think I should do. I love my friends and I don't want to do or say anything that would upset them. The problem is, when you're always pleasing other people, you can find yourself pretty miserable at times. Not necessarily at the outcome of your decision, but at the fact that you couldn't make the decision you truly, deep down, wanted to.

Once again, I'm at a fork in the road where one half of my mind says "You should just go, hang out with your friends, run the damn marathon and visit a new state." And the other half of me says, "Girl, you are so jam packed busy this summer already. You can't possibly fit that trip in. With the Olympic Trials coming to town, a board meeting, a lacrosse tournament in Tahoe, concerts, some down time and a little thing called work, your schedule is FULL. Just say 'no.'" But I'm not sure I can.

The fact of the matter is, I love a challenge. I love looking at all the reasons why the rational half of my mind tells me I'm allowed to say no and then figure out how to make it happen. At some point, I have to decide where to set my boundaries. With challenges, I clearly don't know when to say "when."

Marathons? Bring 'em on. Another project at work that isn't part of my job description? Yes, please! Another extracurricular activity to fit into that few spare hours in the day? Why not?!

Sometimes I think, what if I did say "no?" Maybe saying yes all the time is really keeping me from something important in my life that needs to happen. And then again, maybe I just need to relax and go with the flow...whatever that means.

I'm comfortable doing what I should do. I haven't figured out that healthy balance between what I want to do and what others want me to. Some day my friends, "no" may be my answer. Until then, I'm just not sure...about anything.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Sweat fest, I mean Bikram anyone?

So Saturday a.m. after a fun night out with the girls, I made my way to the Bikram Yoga Studio downtown that offers your first two weeks of hot yoga (104 degrees) for just 20 bucks. Good deal, eh? I've been wanting to try it out for a while so I showed up early with my towel, mat, water bottle, and $. Luckily, I had been warned ahead of time that there would be middle aged men in nothing more than speedos and A LOT of sweating.

Sure enough, one guy was sporting the speedo. The rest, not much more. I was nearly the most prude in my Nike spandex shorts and tank. The first step into the room is nearly stifling, but the athlete and ambitious, determined woman in me wasn't willing to walk out until the 90 minutes were up.

Of course the teacher has to call out the new girl (right here!) just so everyone knows. Thanks to having prior experience with yoga and being flexible, the yoga itself wasn't too hard, but the additional heat was enough to make me want to pass out at times. I successfully made it without passing out and even went back for more this afternoon (after running an 11 miler this morn). Today was much more speedo-laden, but this time there were a few cuties thrown in the mix. Hm...I'm seeing a future opportunity to wink at the blonde guy next to me as sweat is pouring off of every inch of my body. Can you say hott?! :)

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Listen up kiddies

I learned one thing today: If I ever decide to actually purchase a road bike and become a cyclist in addition to a runner, I will be damn good at hills. And I'm pretty sure the guy next to me on the spinners thought so too. "Excuse me bud, could you stop staring at my quads and calves? I realize they're pretty impressive and all, but each mile I've run has earned me this sh*t. Thank you."

Coming from me, you probably thought this was going to be much more earth shattering knowledge (insert sarcasm here), however I'm sorry to say it's as simple as that. This girl's got no fear when it comes to hovering that bike seat or cranking up the resistance. Bring it on.

And boys, next time you're at the gym trying to nonchalantly take a gander, please know WE CAN SEE YOU! And for the sake of all others, make sure to wear ample deodorant when you workout.
Love, The Sassmaster

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Thank you for hitting the nail on the head.

Why post when I can directly link to JEMI at In My Heels because she has something to say and I think it describes me a little too well. What about you?

Double, triple, quadruple damn for being a procrastinating perfectionist who is too busy avoiding real relationships at all costs that sometimes this girl is just plain exhausted.

No Real Relationships: You are elusive, cool, desirable, untouchable. You don’t do serious relationships. People have problems. You don’t get close to anyone. People can’t be trusted. You don’t go out of your way to help people. It’s every Gal for herself. Your career is your number one. Family is built in, isn’t it?
And then, you are lonely. How can this be?


Now the question is, what does one do with this information?

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Do you ever feel like...

you're just not smart/equipped/knowledgeable enough to do the job?

I joined my University's club lacrosse team as a freshman with no experience WHATSOEVER. The girls at the recruiting table were really nice and assured me that "you don't need to know how to play" to be on the team. Plus, they were super smiley and much nicer than the crew team girls who told me I'd have to wake up at 4 A.M. AND cut weight since I'd need to be in the light boat. That made the decision pretty easy.

I couldn't stand the idea of going through college and not being on a team. From four years of volleyball, to two years of running long distance track, to two years of racing on the ski team and a few years of playing spring soccer, high school was a busy time for me. Bottom line: college wouldn't be complete without being on a team, any team. Joining the lacrosse team was the best damn decision I made in my college career, hands down.

From freshman year to senior year of college I went from never having played and royally sucking to helping my team defeat the competition and heading to national championships. I became a team coordinator (team mom, organizer, fundraiser, accountant, coach, etc) and met some great friends, got to travel all over the Northwest in 12 passenger vans and laughed A LOT along the way. I was rarely ever home and sometimes I think my roommates resented me for that. My team was my sole focus.

By senior year, lacrosse had grown so much in the NW that most of the girls on the team had been playing since middle and high school and knew the game better than I ever will. As I transitioned into "the real world" I took on the head coach position for a high school team nearby that was struggling. I did that for the past few years and finally said enough was enough. I couldn't give and give and get little in return and see the girls continue to not want to sprint (even though they were out of shape) or show up to practice, or keep their grades up so they would be eligible for the games.

And guess what? A few weeks ago, some of my old teammates (who were froshies my senior yr) asked me to come help coach them. Their old coach (and my old teammate) just moved down to Cali to be with her fiance who was recruited there for a men's lax coaching job. I now go to their practices and think "What the hell am I doing here? I don't even know what to say or how to articulate what's going through my head. I must seem like such an ass."

Ultimately, I think what they need is leadership and right now, I'm their girl. But still, part of me just can't get over the fact that I simply feel unequipped to coach the #1 team in the league. Yes, I know and love the game. But no, I cannot shoot a goal over my back or pass every ball perfectly or even create a drill from scratch to solve a problem they're having.

Does this happen to you? Do you ever feel like you're doing something you just aren't qualified for?

Sunday, March 9, 2008

We made it...

and that's all that really matters. Weather in SLC and Moab, UT was gorgeous! I had packed for freezing temps, but luckily we were met my 50-60 degree temps and gorgeous blue sky. Half of our group flew together and got in late Thurs night. It was dark so I couldn't really see anything until holy crap, I can barely make out these ginormous mountains all around us.

Friday morning I couldn't get over the huge masses standing right outside the city of Salt Lake and the fact that my friend T (and every other SLC resident) gets to see this every single day. Seriously, this girl has seen mountains, but she's never seen mountains like this.

A little after 10 A.M. we were off to Moab with Starbucks in our hands, the road ahead and the mountains all around us. I was in heaven. After checking into our motel, we crammed into one car and headed to Arches National Park. And again, this girl was in awe. We did a little hiking, saw some arches, had lots of photo opps and just enjoyed a few hours with mother nature. After a quick change, we headed to the expo to pick up our race packets and then off to dinner at the local brewery. After setting out my gear for the next morn and a trip to the hot tub, it was time to say goodnight. But T and I stayed up talking for a good two hours about our careers, goals, passions in life and what the heck we're supposed to do with it all. Solution: we have no idea.

6 A.M. came around quickly and we were up for bagels and preparations before heading off to catch the shuttle that would take us up the canyon to the race start. There were six of us, three trained to run it and three trained to some degree to walk/jog the 13 miles. By 9 A.M. (an hour before race start) we were standing in line for the port-a-pots at the race start.

After pre-race photos, chatting, another trip to the pots and a short warm up, this girl was ready to go. My friend J and I run a similar speed so we started together near the 8 min/mile pace marker. In fact, J was the one who convinced me to run long distance track with her sophomore year of high school so she wouldn't be out there suffering alone. And that's really the point in my life where this whole running thing became more a way of life and less just a form of exercise.

The first several miles were downhill so my times were pretty quick and somewhere around mile six I settled in at a pretty even 8. As always, the last few miles were painful. I had to fight myself mentally to not give up and walk and just keep pushing through the exhaustion. I finished in just under 1 hr 45 min, a personal record for moi! I was pretty happy with the time even though I wanted a 1:44 or less. Oh well, there's always next time. I came in 37 out of 378 females in my age category..not too shabby.

A few highlights (and even a "lowlight"*): the course was beautiful (taking us 10+ miles along the Colorado River and through the canyons), training harder afforded me the luxury of not really being sore today (minus a bum knee that is always in some state of pain or numbness), the altitude was definitely noticeable (due to the burning sensation in my lungs at the finish), mental talk really got me through some tough spots ("You're better than this. This hill is nothing. This hill ain't got sh*t on you."), Great Harvest Cinnamon Chip bread with chocolate milk rocks after running 13.1 miles, convincing your friends to run a 1/2 marathon with you will bring you all closer together through all the pain and laughter and finally, *running skirts should not be worn when running, EVER (wear a short, tight skirt when you're out at a club or at an outdoor concert in the summer, but not to a race - I don't enjoy seeing your butt cheeks).

We celebrated back in Salt Lake with dinner and then on to drinks at a popular hangout. Tired and exhausted, we managed to drag ourselves on the dance floor and shake it to some "apple bottom jeans and the boots with the fur" cuz no matter how many miles I've run, nothing can keep me from a dance floor and a good beat.

This afternoon I came back to several notices in my inbox from eharmony that just feel like nagging these days. Do I really care? Who has time to spend on this whole dating thing anyway? T suggested we start an online dating service specifically for runners if it didn't already exist. I googled and there are a few lame attempts, but nothing that really seems like it was made by runners for runners. Hmm...

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Pushing the pace

Yesterday my friend K and I ran our five miler pretty fast. Bottom line: it was Monday, I was in a bad mood and pounding the pavement seemed like the only cure. Around 3.5 miles the three guys running right on our heels said to each other "I wasn't planning to run this fast." "Me neither." And so, we kept on pushing. Then I hear, "What pace are we at?" Response "7:35."

You know when you have someone on your heels and you desperately want them to pass you so you can ease up, but they won't? Yeah, that's what happened. I was mostly impressed I could even maintain the pace, as I'm usually running an 8 min mile, but whatevs. We made it. K on the other hand, has the impressive ability to run 6:30 min miles and prob faster and yet she's nice enough to run with lil ole me.

And in non-running news, I stopped by Tar-get on my way home tonight to pick up some necessities for my trip (contact solution and face wash). As usual, it turned into several contact cleaning solutions (because my eyes always hurt), two boxes of cereal, shiny new bobby pins, earrings and two kinds of Aveeno face wash (because I just couldn't pick). $63 later, it was all mine.

Monday, March 3, 2008

No-show

So, Mr. Physical Therapist/Volunteer Firefighter turned out to be a no-show. He texted me at 9 A.M. (we were meeting @ 10 due to both of our schedules) saying that he had been called out to a fire at 5 A.M. and they were still cleaning up the scene and he wouldn't be able to make it. He'd have to take a raincheck.

I'm still not sure if it was fact or fiction, but I wasn't too bummed. After all, I don't even know the guy. I figure either a) it was a legit excuse and he was still covered in sweat and soot making it impossible to meet me in an hour or b) he met someone else/was too hungover from a late night/or just decided he didn't want to meet me. But it's cool... I drank my latte, read the end of "Eat, Pray, Love" and decided that sometimes just sitting and doing nothing is better than this crazy whirlwind I'm always running around in.

This whole online dating thing has helped me realize a few things about myself and what I want in my life and future bf, husband, etc.

* I'm always on the go and don't know when to take a break (but when I finally do, I thoroughly enjoy it). I hope to find someone that can help me balance that. I'd like to believe you can be both successful and relaxed at the same time. This constant knot in my chest can't be good for my blood pressure.
* I want to find someone who's willing to tough it out until I'm comfortable around them b/c it takes me a while to be myself.
* I want someone who makes me laugh, a lot.
* I want someone who is adventurous and spontaneous because sometimes I am, but sometimes I need a push.
* And finally, I'm not sure about online dating. If I don't trust guys I meet in person, how am I supposed to trust someone I meet online through a series of questions and answers.

Life is complicated. I need to take it less seriously.