a theory or two on men and relationships

So don't go calling me Plato or anything crazy like that. (Not that I thought you actually would...)

Anyway, lately I've been scheming up a few theories about men my age (midtwenties) most likely so that I don't have to feel as bad about the fact that none of them seem to find their way into my life.

1) Men in their midtwenties aren't ready for the kind of woman they will marry. What I mean is, women (possibly as fabulous and mature as myself) who want a real relationship are intimidating because they scare guys into thinking "we want the whole damn thing and we want it right now! The rock, the house, the yard, the dog, etc." When truth be told, we just want a good man. The whole shebang will hopefully come along when it's the right guy and the right time, but just because we're of marrying age, doesn't mean we're ready to tie the knot, boys. So, these men go searching for girls who are fun, free spirited, still partying away their post college years and not a threat to their bachelor's dreams.

2) Men in their midtwenties don't know what they want and they sure as hell don't want a woman who does know what she wants.

3) Young men aren't searching for relationships. They're hanging out in bars, watching football with the guys and going to work, but not really getting out there and looking for us fabulous women. Or perhaps, it's me who is simply not looking in the right places. Boys, where do you go to find women? I'll admit I even shopped once at a grocery story that's totally out of my way just because it was voted "the most likely place to pick up someone in the produce aisle" by the local weekly paper. I've started debating checking out volunteer opportunities or maybe the business networking groups, but I don't know. The running groups always tend to attract strange guys (no offense). There's just something off about the guys that find their way to the groups that I can't put my finger on... Eeks. Miss Judgemental's in town.

4) This town of 150,000 simply does not have men in their midtwenties who are not happily married or in the throws of a blissful relationship. Hence, the reason I tried eHarmony thanks to a coworker's nudging. Six months later, I hadn't had any luck and quit. Today I found out that my coworker (who has been dating her eharmony match for a year now who lives about 4 hrs away from her), just got engaged this weekend at her favorite restaurant in Sante Fe, NM. Talk about a love story. Maybe I should give online dating another try. That or move to a bigger city. Or just give up.

What do you guys think??


Single said…
Give eHarmony another chance. If that doesn't work, you should move to a bigger city:-)
J said…
Don't give up!!
Dr Debt said…
Here a little article that goes along with your theories

magda said…
Brilliant list, sassy. So on point, in so many respects; I totally agree. Once men cross 30, they seem to shift their perspectives; I think they're hit by the "sh!t I'm 30, where's my life going?" tidal wave that so many women fear. I just wish they'd catch on earlier. Fabulousness is right here, they just need to learn to properly prioritize and be realistic. Stupid boys.
P.O.M. said…
Neither do men in their 30s in So. Cal. I am not a fan of internet dating, as i had the WORST luck with it. But I do know several people who it worked for.

"You have time" is the WORST thing someone can say, so I won't.

We are doing expo on Fri, but hopefully we can meet up somehow....

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