A few days ago I decided enough was enough. It was time to trash the folder labeled "Paul" in my inbox. For a few months now those e-mails were just staring me down every time I logged in. E-mails with all these cute photos he'd hand selected for me, messages of how he was thinking about me all day and how cute I am in such and such picture. But it's over.
I understand that someone isn't interested but how to say goodbye is always hard. Like wait a minute, we affected each others' lives. Do we have to pretend like we never knew each other? Lucky for both of us, we'd never met. Even so, as someone who saves things like she won't have the memories, it was a step in the right direction. Not opening a single one of them, I just trashed them permanently because dwelling on the past would get me nowhere.
As I mentioned, Fridays don't often seem much different for me than any other day (if I'm not traveling). I work 'til 5 at least, go to the gym and head home. Tonight however, I went with a few friends to happy hour and then on to see Lakeview Terrace with Samuel L. Jackson and damn, gina, that was some good stuff. I had no clue what to expect, but I liked it, I think. I can't really sleep so it must have been good. Good in a heart constricting, uncomfortable, almost puts you to tears kind of way good.
Tomorrow, I'm expecting a little visit from the momsie with plans for coffee, shopping and just hanging out. Sunday, I'm going to dedicate my usual Sunday morning run with the group to Matt, Madeline and Liz. I don't know them, but I think Liz would be truly amazed at how well Matt is doing at this whole daddy thing. And I think she'd be truly touched and honored by this memorial run/walk 5k idea.