Decisions, decisions

Do you ever feel plagued with decisions you don't know how to answer? I do. Always.

It tends to be a pretty big factor in one's life when you're indecisive. I am, and I always have been. Inside my head it's a constant wager between what I really want to do and what I think I should do. I love my friends and I don't want to do or say anything that would upset them. The problem is, when you're always pleasing other people, you can find yourself pretty miserable at times. Not necessarily at the outcome of your decision, but at the fact that you couldn't make the decision you truly, deep down, wanted to.

Once again, I'm at a fork in the road where one half of my mind says "You should just go, hang out with your friends, run the damn marathon and visit a new state." And the other half of me says, "Girl, you are so jam packed busy this summer already. You can't possibly fit that trip in. With the Olympic Trials coming to town, a board meeting, a lacrosse tournament in Tahoe, concerts, some down time and a little thing called work, your schedule is FULL. Just say 'no.'" But I'm not sure I can.

The fact of the matter is, I love a challenge. I love looking at all the reasons why the rational half of my mind tells me I'm allowed to say no and then figure out how to make it happen. At some point, I have to decide where to set my boundaries. With challenges, I clearly don't know when to say "when."

Marathons? Bring 'em on. Another project at work that isn't part of my job description? Yes, please! Another extracurricular activity to fit into that few spare hours in the day? Why not?!

Sometimes I think, what if I did say "no?" Maybe saying yes all the time is really keeping me from something important in my life that needs to happen. And then again, maybe I just need to relax and go with the flow...whatever that means.

I'm comfortable doing what I should do. I haven't figured out that healthy balance between what I want to do and what others want me to. Some day my friends, "no" may be my answer. Until then, I'm just not sure...about anything.

Comments

I am pretty indecisive also...I can never make decisions about even the simplest of things. And yes, you can find yourself miserable at times when you are always pleasing others. Not a good thing!

I'm so similar! I love a challenge too, and I tend to say Yes to most everything even when I already have so many other things on my plate. Are you going to run the Marathon?
I'm one to try and fit everything in that you possibly can. You should do it!

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