When Your Time is Not Your Time
Most days around here are pretty good. Sure, there's a lot to do to care for a baby that needs you to do oh, pretty much everything for them, but after almost five months you settle into a good routine. The baby no longer feels "breakable" and you generally know why they're crying at any given time.
But some days, some days are hard. Some days the baby wakes up five times in the night leaving you foggy between the ears, staring off into space on the edge of your bed as you contemplate having to go in and pick him up, feed and change him again. Some days the baby cries on and off a lot of the day (for no apparent reason) and despises the idea of you putting him down for 30 seconds to (god forbid) pee, chug some water, or grab a snack. Some days putting the baby down for a nap takes longer than the nap itself. <--- emoji="" here="" i="" insert="" sobbing="">--->
Monday was like that. All I had wanted to accomplish (besides take care of Henry) was to respond to a few emails and do a bit of writing for a project while he napped.
Around 4:30 p.m., when I hadn't accomplished those things and it looked like he would be skipping his final nap of the day, I took a deep breathe and said to myself "Your time is not your time." It's not as if this was a new revelation, but rather than stewing in the frustration of it, I decided to let it go, appreciate my little guy, and take him and the dog on a walk to enjoy a sunny fall evening.
I guess the moral of the story here is, baby or not, sometimes we have expectations about how something is supposed to go and when it doesn't happen that way we throw a little pity party for ourselves. But the truth is, what you can't control you gotta just let go.
So when I'm exhausted or frustrated I haven't accomplished something I was hoping to, I'm going to continue reminding myself how incredibly lucky I am to get to raise this little guy. And who knows, I may go back to full time work in a few months or a year, so I want to enjoy these moments and not worry about the little stuff so much.
I also owe you guys a four month update on Henry before five months rolls around (which is next week). Yikes!
Tell me what's new with you? Are you doing anything fun for Halloween?
Even though it's sort of a kids holiday, I still enjoy the festivity of it all, the decorations, and an excuse to eat a little chocolate. And we've yet to get a photo of Henry with a pumpkin yet this fall, so I feel like I need to make that happen in the next few days.