Friday, September 12, 2014

One Year of Marriage

I have been thinking about this topic for a few months now. The Europe trip pushed it back a bit as we were enjoying our one year anniversary at the Tour de France. But as Pete and I are just two months beyond our anniversary, I thought it would be fun to reflect on what one year of marriage has looked like, what I expected, and how it is different or the same.

This is still one of my favorite photos. 

For starters, the past year really flew by. Between work, school, training for races and preparing for our Europe trip, there wasn't a lot of time to just soak in where we were at in life: our first year of marriage.

Don't get me wrong, we were enjoying life, but it wasn't exactly a blissful, relaxing year. Those two things don't seem to come together too often in my lifestyle. ;)


Looking Back on Our Wedding
Over the past year when I've thought about our wedding I've had a lot of happy thoughts as well as a few regrets.

Relief. I've been both relieved that our wedding day is behind us (planning was pretty stressful) and thoughts about how I would change things if I were to go back. It was an awesome, pretty, blur of a day and I wish I could just bottle up those sights, sounds and feelings.


Capturing the moment. With so many friends and family members in town from all over the country, I wish we had given a more specific shot list to our photographers. They were amazing, but I didn't expect not to have the opportunity to take photos with certain family members or friends. Luckily, I have the memories imprinted in my head.

Saying thank you. I still wonder if we were able to show our love and appreciation to all of our family and friends who came to our wedding. Did they understand deep down that we would not have been there without them?

There still remain a few thank you's that never got sent. I should have given myself only a month to do them all, but as the thank you's trickled out, there were certain gifts I lost track of who they were from, or whether or not I had sent so and so a thank you. I feel bad about it and hope they know that we are truly thankful for everything we received.

Taking a breather. I am really glad we didn't head off on a big honeymoon immediately following the wedding. It was a great opportunity to spend extra time with family and just relax. Heck, I spent half of that next week just taking naps!


On Marriage
I think I expected our first year of marriage to feel like an extension of our dating relationship. Since 2009, we've learned a lot about each other and have continued to grow as individuals, work on our relationship, and face new challenges together. While things didn't change dramatically, I definitely feel like we are more a team now than ever. 

What surprised me the most was the way the manfriend took a bit more ownership in the relationship after marriage. In his words, he said he felt more responsible as a married man, which showed up in a number of ways.


What shouldn't have surprised me, but did is just how supportive he has been. It feels pretty awesome to have someone who always has your back, through the good times and the not so good. 

On the other side, I have surprised myself a bit in that I seem to want to be more domestic. I can't help but want to work hard to keep the house fairly clean and organized, cook tasty, healthy meals, while still maintaining a life full of fitness and other adventures. There's something about officially being a team that makes it more enticing to want to say vacuum the floors or organize the closet. #callmecrazy


Growing as a couple
I have always been very independent and have consistently struggled with letting others do things for me or help me out. Although I'm no longer that single girl, I find myself making plans on occasion assuming the manfriend will be fine with it, whether they involve him or not. One area that I will continue to work on is figuring out how to think more about the "us" in these situations than the "I."

While this is only year one, I'm excited about the future and to see how our communication skills and relationship grow over time. A strong marriage isn't easy, but it is something I am committed to fighting for daily.

I love you, manfriend. Happy one year and two months!


Of possible interest: Premarital Counseling: the low down

5 comments:

Lindsey said...

I love this post. I feel the same way in that I thought our first year of marriage would be an extension of our dating relationship. But I think we have a deeper level of commitment to each other that wasn't there before.

Happy one year!

Leigh said...

Happy belated wedding anniversary! Our 4th wedding anniversary passed in August (still crazy it has been four years since our wedding!) and I didn't feel much changed after we got married. I'm so glad we took the time to develop our marriage before having kids though (I know not everyone can do that). It's made us appreciate each other and grow together before the craziness of a kid!

Lisa said...

Love this! I'm getting married in a week. :)

Amber said...

Happy belated Anniversary! The first year of marriage was actually really really hard for me. I think part of it was I was the first of my friends to get married and two of my closest friends were planning their own weddings during my first year of marriage. So I never felt like I had anyone to confide in and say "marriage is really hard" to. Now that both of them are married, we've had many conversations about how much work marriage can be. I still remember the first time my one friend said to me "marriage is actually really hard" over lunch and I was like yes, yes it is! I felt like a weight was off my shoulders.

Anyways, marriage has only gone up from there for me and so far, a couple of months into my third year of marriage, it's the best and most amazing one yet. Thinking as "us" rather than "I" can be hard though. Even though Eric and I have been together a very very long time I still tend to make plans without double checking with him first. I am getting better about it though and our communication has vastly improved the last year or so. I do know that no matter how hard it is to make marriage work, it's work that is completely 100% worth it. It's an amazing feeling to have a partner in crime and someone by your side you know you can depend on through anything!

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

I am glad that the first year of marriage was a good one for you even if it was crazy busy and a bit of a blur. I think if anything it shows us that life is never going to slow down so we need to find ways to enjoy the hear and now.

I sometimes think that Phil and I are too independent because we do tend to think in terms of "I" more than "we" so it's good to hear that others struggle with this as well.