Do yourself a favor.

Go ahead. Give another woman a compliment. I promise you'll feel like a good person after you do. I for one, am horribly awful at giving and receiving compliments, more so at receiving than giving, but I'm working on it.

Last night, walking off the dance floor with my man friend during 80's night at a local college hangout, a cute, stylish girl I'd never met came up to me and said "I just wanted to tell you you're really beautiful." "Oh, thank you" is all I could muster in total shock.

But I know what it feels like to give a genuine compliment to another woman. It feels like everything in the world is good and right. It makes you want to shake hands and kiss babies. As a society, we women aren't always supportive of each other, but when we are, it makes us stronger as a whole.

I remember in high school letting compliments sit on the edge of my tongue and not spit them out because I couldn't manage a thank you when one was uttered my way. But as we grow, we learn that others want us to say thanks and hear our genuine thoughts.

The point is, my mystery friend reminded me why it's so important to appreciate each other. We women are amazing. But we're also self conscious, over thinkers who sometimes need reassurance. The next time you're thinking the girl on the sidewalk is wearing a pretty sweet jacket/flats/bag or is flashing an amazing smile, tell her. It's all about kharma and the warm & fuzzies. It will come back to you, I promise.

What's the best compliment you've ever received? And the best one you've given?

Truth: I've given compliments to a few strangers in the mall on their shoes or clothing and on the dance floor giving props to some pretty sweet dance moves.

Comments

Amber said…
I couldn't agree with you more. I always feel the need to compliment someone back when they compliment me, so if they say they like my bag then I'll say I like their shirt. I need to work on just saying thank you and moving on.

I've gotten a lot of compliments on my weight loss lately, which feels GREAT but also makes me feel a little self conscious. I'm getting a lot better at accepting the compliments graciously though!
heatherdc said…
the same thing happened to me! dance floor, with my friends (not a "man-friend" though...:) ha I love your term). Normally I'd be a little creeped out, but he just stopped and said, so only I could hear, "I just think you should know, you're really beautiful." smiled nicely and walked off.

I was totally caught off guard but it made my night. And I'm 100% with you, we don't do this for each other enough!
So true! The most compliments I receive are about my eyes. People always ask if I wear colored contacts.

I compliment people occasionally...random people less frequently than people I see everyday. I should do it more often.
A couple of weeks ago my husband and I were at dinner and the server was just like, "You both have the most amazing eyes." I feel like compliments you receive from people you don't know are sometimes the most sincere because it takes guts to compliment someone you don't know.
magda said…
I'm so with you on this! Too often I think I meet unsolicited compliments with serious awkwardness. "Um, thanks?" is usually what I muster in the moment, only to look back and realize just how sweet it was for her to reach out to me. The thing of it is, when a total stranger tells me I look cute/have a nice smile/have an awesome pair of shoes, I remember. And I feel better for the rest of the day. It's another way of breaking the isolation that too often becomes us as we age, and it's so refreshing, too. I'm definitely going to give at least one real compliment this week : )

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