Motivation. Losing it, lost it, can't find it. Ugh.
In marathon training, sure, I manage to dig it up, it's easy. But in other places, I just can't seem to find the inspiration and motivation I need to dig down deep in my soul and really spend some time exploring. I notice that I surround myself with so many things, pack my weekends with activities, stuff my google reader full of contents I'm not utilizing. I just don't know what to do with it all!
What do you do when you've reached a Tipping Point? A point in which you need to evaluate, slow down and make a decision?
Ultimately, I've known all along, especially as a single gal that I was desperately searching for something I hadn't found. THE career! THE man! The city! The passion! Weekends were spent doing errand after errand and the occasional moments of peace I remember are sitting at Starbucks reading or cleaning my room on a sunny Sunday. Evenings consisted of running, the gym, grocery shopping and dinner. And then there were those serene moments of pure joy and peace as I hopped on a plane and flew across the country and the world to a new city for a marathon, a weekend getaway, a fun time with friends.
Well, now there's a man, THE man and he's great. More than I could have ever asked for. But we must not forget that a relationship is not the hidden key. I always told myself that a relationship wouldn't solve my problems and now I know it for real. But what a relationship does provide, is that stability and support when you need it most. I feel stronger today knowing that when I am ready to take a leap into figuring out just what I want in life, there's someone to catch me if I fall (or bandage my bleeding knee and elbow).
But still, it scares me. Scares me shitless. It scares me I won't find THE career. I won't find the time to make an inspiration board, or go back to school, or decorate our house, or whip up creative new foods, or travel to Spain, Ireland, Australia, etc. It scares me I won't live in a new part of the country. It scares me I'll just carry along at it all being safe, scheduling life week to week without any big plan in mind.
A few blogs remind me that this isn't necessary. There are bigger dreams, bigger risks, bigger goals we should set for ourselves. Because we deserve it.
Oh She Glows: Setting long and short term goals and her 10 goals for 2010
Makeunder My Life: Don't trip before the start line and Be the best you are with what you have and writing a letter to yourself setting your intention for the year.
What inspires your motivation? Where do you look when you're lacking it internally?
And maybe, just maybe I should take this whole life thing just a little less seriously. Perhaps I don't need to be the one with all the answers. Now just try to tell that to my little Type A mind.