This is supposed to get easier, right?

This whole returning to running after two months off thing has thrown me for a loop. A loop I wasn't quite ready for. I forgot that when they say you lose double the fitness for the amount of time you take off, they mean it. Two months is NOT like taking four days off.

Each mile is a victory. My lungs and my legs feel like they're finished after just five minutes into a run. But because I know persistence pays off, I've been fighting the fatigue to get to at least 40-45 minutes before I think about stopping.

Last night, I worked until 630 and then having already missed the group run, I put on the New Balances, Nike shorts and Old Navy tank and drove to the park for my own little run on the bark. I took the long loop so I was forced to go all the way around with no turning back when it got tough.

Sunday's run was painful. After 2.5 miles with the girls I had to peel off and turn around and then pushed myself to do 6 miles since the 10k is coming up. But you know what? My right knee was wrenching with every step. The lungs were mediocre, but the knee, not so much.

Last night my knee wasn't hurting as bad, but still not good. Halfway around the loop, I realized I'm a fighter. I stay in the ring until the last bell, until I can't go any more. Why? Because I think anything less would be unsatisfactory. Incomplete. Below average.

I'd like to run without pain someday. I believe the lungs and legs will get stronger in the next few weeks and I'll be back to my running fitness level soon enough. But my knees, I'm not so confident they're up for the challenge. I wonder, how fast could I go if my body were to cooperate with my mind? One thing I know for sure is that Boston will be unachievable with this kind of knee pain.

But it's all in due time. I think this whole biking thing will help my joints, but it's hard when the time you see your friends is on the track, the roads and the bark paths and your goals require serious road time. The thing I keep having to remind myself is that patience is critical.

Without serious recovery time, we cannot improve. With the foresight that some goals cannot be met when you'd most like, we must find new and different challenges to keep the fighter in us fighting. Meanwhile, bikini season continues to come head on with no sign of stopping. :)

Take care of yourself!

Comments

My sentiments exactly... except for me, I am returning to running after taking a good 2-2.5 years off. I am struggling to remember struggling to get through 3-4 mile runs... But I know at some point, I was in this same position - but at that time, I just never knew I was capable of running such long distances. Like half & full marathons... So I probably was easier on myself than I've been...

Keep on keeping on - I'm sure you'll be back to your old self again very, very soon!
Good for you for pushing through it! Don't push that knee too hard though!

It'll get better, slowly but surely! Just keep staying positive and listening to your body!
Danielle said…
When I was working my way back from ACL reconstructive surgery, things hurt--sometimes very painfully. I took up cycling at that point. I do think cycling has really helped my running. It's great to strengthen the quads, work those knees and get a faster turnover rate. Plus, you can really build your endurance on a bike without killing yourself. I think now I'm a better runner for it. Just remember--sometimes pain is not worth running through and it's your body's way of telling you something is not right.
J said…
Hope your knee feels better! I am sure that running will get easier for you! Keep it up!
Heather C said…
I hope YOU are taking care of yourself miss Sassy!! If its really hurting - don't push it too much, it'll get worse. Let yourself build up slowly - your muscles Will catch up if you take it a Little bit easy on them!

You have some serious will-power pushing through those runs! :)
Kerry said…
I see you're in a similar boat too. I'm so sorry! I hope your knee improves quickly. I have a terrible time taking a break, especially since my hurt knee is not my own, but I know it's so important for recovery. Starting again slowly is almost worse than the rest. Anyway, bring on bikini season. I doubt you have anything to worry about and besides that, it's good to have curves and even lumps and bumps that normalize the standard a bit.

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