Do you ever feel like a friendship is the best thing you'll ever find?

And I don't mean that it replaces a relationship (because lord knows I'm still crossing my fingers that relationships are in my future), but rather it's like you've found someone whose soul you were meant to know? I have. A few in high school, college and now life after college. And it's absolutely fabulous.

I still remember sobbing for an hour straight at an end of summer goodbye party after senior yr of high school because I thought no one could live up to these amazing people I called my friends. None of us could I couldn't bare to leave because it was just so fucking heart breaking. And in college, my world turned upside down when one of my best friends and I parted ways. It was like I didn't know her soul anymore; I wasn't allowed to.

As friendships ebb and flow, some have moved on and some have remained an integral fabric of my life. But today, at the marathon, during the pouring rain, somehow it all came rushing back. These people. These fabulous fucking people are hard for me to leave. As much as I'm ready to move on, change my life and challenge everything I'm comfortable with, I'm not sure how I'll leave these people.

One constant I know is that while the friendships are vital to my happiness, they don't always stick around. As important as they may be to me, I am not to them what they are to me. And that's ok. It's just hard to accept. When you're permanently single, friendships and family are your everything. They're what make me feel like everything in the world is good and right and whole. I guess I have to trust that moving on will bring me new souls I was meant to know, but sometimes that just doesn't seem good enough. I guess that's what this whole growing up and figuring yourself out thing is about.

And to lighten the mood...Sarah Palin, please just stop while you're ahead. Oh wait, too late.

Comments

Laura said…
It was great to meet you on Saturday! Sorry we didn't get to meet up after the race but thanks for your nice note - it was great to have it waiting for me when I got back to the hotel :)
heatherdc said…
I'm the worst at good-byes, I hear ya. But with every new "phase" of life, you keep the people around that you love on top of meeting the new ones. You can never know too many people :)
and thanks to this crazy blogging world, you have friends across the country too. weeeeird, but so Fun.
PIC said…
Ahhh...that is the hardest part of moving on from any part of your life but through it all those friendships will grow in new ways and evolve into a different level of friendship. You are an amazing friend and a great person so whereever you go in life, you are going to continue to meet people that become the fabric of your life. And that journey of friendship supports you on your journey of life - there's a world out there waiting for you!
Andrea said…
I can relate, I've been moving all the time since college, and people definitely come in and out of your life. Actually, my best and most constant friend is probably my pup, but she's a good one! Good luck with everything, I know it can be stressful.

Popular Posts