Straightforward...sort of
I'm a pretty straightforward person. I don't like fake conversations or fake people. They bore me.
But when it comes to my heart, I couldn't be any less straightforward. Even when someone has declared their interest, I manage to be unable to admit I too care about them. It's as if not admitting it allows me some sort of power, when in actuality the guy probably thinks I'm not interested and therefore aborts ship. And you know, I don't blame him one bit.
Here's a little peek into my internal conversation before I even meet a guy:
A is Miss Positivity
B is Miss Party Pooper
A. "He's cute, seems interesting and I wouldn't mind dating someone like him."
B. "Fabulous, now how do I avoid him?"
A. "Um, helloooo...he's perfect."
B. "Yep, for someone else. Besides, I'm not what he's looking for."
The way Miss Party Pooper always wins the struggle is that she rationalizes everything into "Escape is always safest, right?" Yeah, unless escape means what you're left with is nothing.
I'm tired of escaping, ready to put it all out there, but not sure how to do it. I guess it's all about baby steps. One toe at a time (if that's even possible). In addition to a few chic novels, I'm currently reading "How to Stop Running from Love."
Yeah, I know. You're thinking "seriously, one of those lame self help books?" Yep, I'm that kinda girl. If you don't like something, you've got to figure out how to change it. Pretty empowering, don't you think?
But when it comes to my heart, I couldn't be any less straightforward. Even when someone has declared their interest, I manage to be unable to admit I too care about them. It's as if not admitting it allows me some sort of power, when in actuality the guy probably thinks I'm not interested and therefore aborts ship. And you know, I don't blame him one bit.
Here's a little peek into my internal conversation before I even meet a guy:
A is Miss Positivity
B is Miss Party Pooper
A. "He's cute, seems interesting and I wouldn't mind dating someone like him."
B. "Fabulous, now how do I avoid him?"
A. "Um, helloooo...he's perfect."
B. "Yep, for someone else. Besides, I'm not what he's looking for."
The way Miss Party Pooper always wins the struggle is that she rationalizes everything into "Escape is always safest, right?" Yeah, unless escape means what you're left with is nothing.
I'm tired of escaping, ready to put it all out there, but not sure how to do it. I guess it's all about baby steps. One toe at a time (if that's even possible). In addition to a few chic novels, I'm currently reading "How to Stop Running from Love."
Yeah, I know. You're thinking "seriously, one of those lame self help books?" Yep, I'm that kinda girl. If you don't like something, you've got to figure out how to change it. Pretty empowering, don't you think?
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